I'm having one of those days where everything feels yuck. I got my period yesterday so maybe thats why :P
This month the thing that is bothering me is my body. So from previous entries its clear that i've had issues with dieting in the past. It wasnt until six months ago that I finally found peace with my body, but every now and then my female hormones turn on me and I have mini stress attacks all over again. I think the reason I stress about it like this is because I work in the fitness industry and I feel like I should be a better example of a strong fit person. I'm a great instructor, I just dont have the ripped, super skinny body. I must admit that in the last month i've just been eating terribly and this is probably the overall reason as to why i'm stressing right now. it was bound to catch up with me. I just need t focus on eating wholesome fresh foods during the week and then on weekends let myself eat a little more freely. That's what i've been doing and its been working, till a month ago when I actually picked up my weekend eating to all the time :p WHOOPS!
I've also been drinking a few glasses of wine about four nights a week lately, which has probably excaccerbated my mini stress attack. Actually *light bulb moment*, its a combination of the following
-consistent poor diet
-too much alcohol
-decreased level of exercise
For various reasons i've had several classes covered for the last couple of weeks and I think the lack of exercise has also contributed to the yuck feeling.
its important that I verbalise that this entry is not another false promise to cut back on bad food, pick up the exercise and just go go go so I can improve my body. its absolutely not about that. its about me venting, verbalising my problems so that I dont hit panic mode and head into that pattern again. I probably will get up early and go for a run tomorrow even though I have a class at lunch time but I have been lacking in the exercise lately so its probably warranted. I do however, want to recognise that it's probably not the best thing for me to keep drinking alcohol so frequently. I had a moto of drinking on weekends only, which was working fine. I think i relaxed TOO much and now the relaxed part of my brain is taking over the rest :P haha. I'm used to exercising like a madwoman. Not because I think I have to but because I absolutely love it. Your body gets addicted to something like that. lately, i've been so busy with uni and selwood that exercise has come last. I have two more weeks of uni before the semester break. its been a great learning curb for me, trying to juggle uni with everyday life. i'm picking up two extra subjects next semester so it will be interesting to see how my coping skills pan out :P
end of rant, I feel better. Thanks for listening!
Monday, June 4, 2007
Friday, June 1, 2007
Feminist what?!
I'm currently writing an assignment on the blatant antifeminist messages that young female protagonists are sending to their young female readers in contemporary young adult chick lit. fiction and its got my brain all ferhoodled.
According to my research/analysis the main characters in Chick Lit nowadays are turning their backs on the feminist movement, whether they realise they are doing it or not. I'm analysing "Vegan, Virgin, Valentine", "Does My Head Look Big In This" and "The Truth About Forever" for my paper and what astounds me is, that to the casual observer these books appear to be normal stories that teenagers read. However, apply some feminist theory to their respective narratives and you've got yourself a feminist's worst nightmare. All of these books are written by females and all the main characters are females, so my question is: do these authors think about these kinds of things when they are writing their novels, or are the literary feminist critics of today out of control?!
I'm in the process of writing my own novel at the moment and I can confidently say that I haven't once sat down and thought about whether the situation my female protagonist is in, is a blatant violation of the unwritten feminist law.
for my assignment, my arguement is that these young female characters are forgoing their own careers, goals and desires for the sake of romance. And it's actually true. The first time I read each novel through, I was captivated with each story because I thought they were great novels for a teenager to read. Then I started doing my research and read each book through again and tried applying my research as I read and I was appalled. These girls in these books really are giving up their own lives for their boyfriends. Its subtle but its happening. So should our teenagers be reading stories about romance and getting that guy, or should they be reading stories about academic success and career orientated narratives? Unfortunately I can't answer that...
Susan Faludi says that the feminist movement has come around and kicked women in the ass. A study found that depression and mid-life crisis' are far more common in single career women, than in married family women. Speaking as a woman, I can't imagine ever not having children. I'm actually craving to start a family. I'd give up any chance of a career for my 'husband and children' if it meant I could raise a happy successful family. But every woman is different. And anyway, who are we to decide what kinds of stories kids should be reading? How do we know that if we write these pro-feminist narratives, that someone else out there isnt going to come up with a crazy theory about how we're corrupting the minds of our teenage girls.
I feel like i'm actually studying sociology and not literature. Its incredibly challenging but I have to say, the challenge is always welcome. Except when I have assignments due and i'm freaking out about the due dates :P tehehe.
According to my research/analysis the main characters in Chick Lit nowadays are turning their backs on the feminist movement, whether they realise they are doing it or not. I'm analysing "Vegan, Virgin, Valentine", "Does My Head Look Big In This" and "The Truth About Forever" for my paper and what astounds me is, that to the casual observer these books appear to be normal stories that teenagers read. However, apply some feminist theory to their respective narratives and you've got yourself a feminist's worst nightmare. All of these books are written by females and all the main characters are females, so my question is: do these authors think about these kinds of things when they are writing their novels, or are the literary feminist critics of today out of control?!
I'm in the process of writing my own novel at the moment and I can confidently say that I haven't once sat down and thought about whether the situation my female protagonist is in, is a blatant violation of the unwritten feminist law.
for my assignment, my arguement is that these young female characters are forgoing their own careers, goals and desires for the sake of romance. And it's actually true. The first time I read each novel through, I was captivated with each story because I thought they were great novels for a teenager to read. Then I started doing my research and read each book through again and tried applying my research as I read and I was appalled. These girls in these books really are giving up their own lives for their boyfriends. Its subtle but its happening. So should our teenagers be reading stories about romance and getting that guy, or should they be reading stories about academic success and career orientated narratives? Unfortunately I can't answer that...
Susan Faludi says that the feminist movement has come around and kicked women in the ass. A study found that depression and mid-life crisis' are far more common in single career women, than in married family women. Speaking as a woman, I can't imagine ever not having children. I'm actually craving to start a family. I'd give up any chance of a career for my 'husband and children' if it meant I could raise a happy successful family. But every woman is different. And anyway, who are we to decide what kinds of stories kids should be reading? How do we know that if we write these pro-feminist narratives, that someone else out there isnt going to come up with a crazy theory about how we're corrupting the minds of our teenage girls.
I feel like i'm actually studying sociology and not literature. Its incredibly challenging but I have to say, the challenge is always welcome. Except when I have assignments due and i'm freaking out about the due dates :P tehehe.
Monday, May 28, 2007
The Good Things in Life
Everyone has differing opinion on what exactly encompasses the 'good things in life'. Tonight, I allowed myself to indulge in just a few of them. Cookies and Cream and Honeycomb and Butterscotch icecream heaped onto arrowroot cookies being the first and foremost. It wasn't too long ago that I would have either not let myself eat something like this at all, or I would have spent the next few hours berrating myself for 'giving into weakness'. As someone who has abstained from eating icecream for the last four or so years I can happily say that my years of depirvation are well and truly over. I was standing in the kitchen smelling the very essence of the cookies and cream icecream float up from the container and a smile crept across my face. After such a hard day (which i'll elaborate more on another time) it was nice to unwind in the comfort of my own home without being uptight and stressed at the the calorie consumption occuring right in front of me.
Another of life's indulgences which I allowed myself to take tonight was a good glass of wine. Unlike the icecream, alcohol is something which I havent abstained from over the years but I have treated it with much the same disrespect as I approached eating in general. For so long I was so concerned with the amount of calories in each glass that I just wanted to get really drunk really fast so that I could
a) forget how much i'd consumed and
b) wash away the guilt of consuming said calories by just getting wasted.
Wine is an awesome part of adult life. Its aroma's, tastes and general culture is something that I totally bypassed until recently. So tonight I let myself slowly and surely have two and half glasses (probably would have had three but I ran out at 2.5, ha!)
I'm sitting here at the moment writing about the class strucutres present in both the traditional version of the Cinderella tale and how the ideology in relation to class in the modern variant, Ever After has changed. I've had icecream and cookies, wine, peace and quiet and now i'm writing an assignment topic about something that I've always wanted to write about: Literature. Until just recently I always thought literature was fruitless, that it wouldnt take me anywhere so it wasnt worth more than that casual read on the tram etc etc. Thank God above I pushed through that snobbery. Studying literature is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I enjoy it so much that I dont mind sitting down to writte complicated essays about class structures. I love what i'm studying so much, that actually studying is a pleasure. Go figure. The good things in life will always take you by surprise.
A friend of mine will disagree with most of the things that i've written about tonight. He doesnt like alcohol and he doesnt particularly find literature all that exciting either. To him, the good things in life are scary horror movies and things like that. I was sitting on my lounge today thinking about the diverse range of people ive chosen as my friends and realised that we dont really have all that much in common, except for the fact that we know that the good things in life are going to be different for everyone and we all accept it as just the way it is. We appreciate each other for who we are, not what we do and what we have. That, is one of the very best things in life.
Another of life's indulgences which I allowed myself to take tonight was a good glass of wine. Unlike the icecream, alcohol is something which I havent abstained from over the years but I have treated it with much the same disrespect as I approached eating in general. For so long I was so concerned with the amount of calories in each glass that I just wanted to get really drunk really fast so that I could
a) forget how much i'd consumed and
b) wash away the guilt of consuming said calories by just getting wasted.
Wine is an awesome part of adult life. Its aroma's, tastes and general culture is something that I totally bypassed until recently. So tonight I let myself slowly and surely have two and half glasses (probably would have had three but I ran out at 2.5, ha!)
I'm sitting here at the moment writing about the class strucutres present in both the traditional version of the Cinderella tale and how the ideology in relation to class in the modern variant, Ever After has changed. I've had icecream and cookies, wine, peace and quiet and now i'm writing an assignment topic about something that I've always wanted to write about: Literature. Until just recently I always thought literature was fruitless, that it wouldnt take me anywhere so it wasnt worth more than that casual read on the tram etc etc. Thank God above I pushed through that snobbery. Studying literature is one of the best decisions I have ever made. I enjoy it so much that I dont mind sitting down to writte complicated essays about class structures. I love what i'm studying so much, that actually studying is a pleasure. Go figure. The good things in life will always take you by surprise.
A friend of mine will disagree with most of the things that i've written about tonight. He doesnt like alcohol and he doesnt particularly find literature all that exciting either. To him, the good things in life are scary horror movies and things like that. I was sitting on my lounge today thinking about the diverse range of people ive chosen as my friends and realised that we dont really have all that much in common, except for the fact that we know that the good things in life are going to be different for everyone and we all accept it as just the way it is. We appreciate each other for who we are, not what we do and what we have. That, is one of the very best things in life.
Sunday, May 27, 2007
As a writer, I feel its my duty to contribute to the world of blogging. I've had loads of fitness and health related blogs before but never really one dedicated to my personal thoughts. So here it is...
Where does one start with a blog like this? I guess the things which are pressing most upon my mind would be an ideal place to start.
I've just become a guide dog puppy carer and i've got my first puppy, Selwood, sitting on my lap as I type. I've only had him for five days but goodness me we have bonded already. I've had dogs my whole life but when you're a teenager I guess your parents kind of take care of all the hard stuff when it comes to raising a pet. This time, its all up to me. He's like a newborn baby, he wakes up in his cage/pen two or three times a night and cries endlessly. Sleepless nights are quite common at the moment. Not that I have any children of my own to measure this by, but I feel as tired as a new mother does.
He requires constant attention and supervision at the moment because he's teething and he chews just about everything he can get his little jaw around. Because he's a guide dog in training we have to make sure he stops chewing as soon as possible. He's also having some issues with the whole toilet training thing. He has to be taught to pee and poop on command and at the moment he is just going wherever he happens to be at that point in time. He is completely and totally dependent on me for everything.
My girlfriend came over last night and was so shocked that I'd actually gone through with the decision to become a carer. It was almost like she didnt believe it when I told her that I'd got the dog and when she saw it with her own eyes, she went into a state of shock. She asked me whether I'd thought about how much responsibility i'd just taken on. The thing is, i've been ready for something like this for such a long time. And the sleepless nights,the constant washing of pooped towels etc are nothing compared to the joy that he brings to my life. I adore him and I adore taking care of him. My life has obviously needed to be altered to cater for him, but I dont care. He's sitting on my lap right now all curled up and I look at him and all I can see is total love. When I look at him I realise there is nothing I wouldnt do to make sure he grows up a strong and responsive guide dog. Its now my job to ensure his success. More than ever I want him to succeed. When someone else is so completely dependent on you for the general day to day things they need in order to survive, you really get an understanding and sense of self worth. I feel like my own life is now so much more important because he needs to succeed.
It is however, going to be VERY hard giving him back...
Where does one start with a blog like this? I guess the things which are pressing most upon my mind would be an ideal place to start.
I've just become a guide dog puppy carer and i've got my first puppy, Selwood, sitting on my lap as I type. I've only had him for five days but goodness me we have bonded already. I've had dogs my whole life but when you're a teenager I guess your parents kind of take care of all the hard stuff when it comes to raising a pet. This time, its all up to me. He's like a newborn baby, he wakes up in his cage/pen two or three times a night and cries endlessly. Sleepless nights are quite common at the moment. Not that I have any children of my own to measure this by, but I feel as tired as a new mother does.
He requires constant attention and supervision at the moment because he's teething and he chews just about everything he can get his little jaw around. Because he's a guide dog in training we have to make sure he stops chewing as soon as possible. He's also having some issues with the whole toilet training thing. He has to be taught to pee and poop on command and at the moment he is just going wherever he happens to be at that point in time. He is completely and totally dependent on me for everything.
My girlfriend came over last night and was so shocked that I'd actually gone through with the decision to become a carer. It was almost like she didnt believe it when I told her that I'd got the dog and when she saw it with her own eyes, she went into a state of shock. She asked me whether I'd thought about how much responsibility i'd just taken on. The thing is, i've been ready for something like this for such a long time. And the sleepless nights,the constant washing of pooped towels etc are nothing compared to the joy that he brings to my life. I adore him and I adore taking care of him. My life has obviously needed to be altered to cater for him, but I dont care. He's sitting on my lap right now all curled up and I look at him and all I can see is total love. When I look at him I realise there is nothing I wouldnt do to make sure he grows up a strong and responsive guide dog. Its now my job to ensure his success. More than ever I want him to succeed. When someone else is so completely dependent on you for the general day to day things they need in order to survive, you really get an understanding and sense of self worth. I feel like my own life is now so much more important because he needs to succeed.
It is however, going to be VERY hard giving him back...
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